
One of the highlights of my childhood week for me involved cassettes.
Sunday, between 5 in the afternoon and 7 o'clock... (after this things went downhill rapidly because it was school tomorrow.)
in other words just after Bullseye and surely the cruellest words ever uttered on television...
"Let's have a look at what you could have won"...
"Let's really rub salt into the wound and shove a camera in your face to revel in your disappointment" more like...
Anyway...
I was poised.
It was the top 40 chart rundown and I wanted to record my favourite. It was number 33 last week... I had no clue where it would be this week... so I'd start listening from 5 o'clock onwards with eager anticipation.
I was ready...
Play and record already pressed... along with the pause button.
Experience had taught me that was the best combination for a quick, smooth start.
No fumbling trying to press play and record at the crucial moment... I'd messed that up too many times in the past.
I simply need to release the pause button.
Can't go wrong.
The tension mounted...
I had to start the recording just after the presenter had stopped their chatter... but just before the music started.
Finally... the big moment...
We're at number 1...
My favourite must have stormed up the charts that week...
I'm ready...
But first... the presenter (Alan Freeman or Simon "Our Tune" Bates or Tony Blackburn or Tommy Vance or Richard Skinner or Bruno Brookes or Mark Goodier) did the full rundown from 40 to 2...
The tension's unbearable... I mustn't muck this up...
And this week's number 1 is...
Start the tape...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
He's talked all over the flipping introduction...
and the first 2 lines too.
I'm going to have to listen to that 23 seconds of Simon Bates drivel over... and over... and over that week...
It's so unfair (picture me as the Harry Enfield teenager character...)
I'll have to try again next Sunday.
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